Today’s topic is a difficult one. It’s one that has plagued families, churches, ministries and has caused the downfall of so many leaders. What is the allure of pornography and why do so many men and women fall into this trap? Today, we’ll be looking at this topic with caution and with a warning. But I don’t want to leave you there, I want to give you hope that you can be redeemed and find hope again.
As leaders we have the power to help people go deeper in their walk with Jesus. Our desire is to help more people draw near to the heart of God. This is why we’re leaders. We genuinely want to help people lead better lives. But, what happens when leader or someone we look up to falls? How do we feel? But how does that individual feel when their sin is broadcast to the whole world?
I want to give you 4 powerful truths that can set you free from the power of pornography.
1. Admit to yourself you need help.
So many people who are trapped in this vicious cycle of addiction find it difficult to ask for help. They feel trapped. They feel there’s no way out. But, what if I tell you that simply telling someone you trust of your addiction will help open the door for healing?
I was first introduced to pornography in Junior High. I went to a Christian School, and a church friend of mine found a Playboy magazine and brought it to school. He asked if we wanted to see what one was. This began a cycle of addiction in my own life. Something that I had a hard time kicking. Today, I have safeguards in place to keep me accountable. But, it took years for me to admit that I needed help. This is the first step to healing.
2. Find an accountability partner:
When I admitted to a pastor friend of mine that I was struggling, even though I had some safeguards in place, I knew I needed to have someone pray for me. Accountability is the key to success. Right now, I have three accountability partners. My wife, a pastor friend, and a friend I trust. They consistently ask me how I’m doing. And, they’ll ask me if I have lied to them.
It’s hard having someone know those deep dark secrets, but for the sake of your ministry and your integrity, you need those safeguards in place. This is also the danger of sitting in the lime light. As ministers, we are in that light daily, and our character and integrity can be destroyed by one single act. Take a look at Joshua Duggar. Here was a young man whom the christian world came to bat for, and find out that he was secretly living an ungodly lifestyle.
Here’s what accountability will do for you:
- Accountability will keep you from falling.
Accountability will give you the strength of combat your addiction.
Accountability will give you the power to live a life of integrity.
Accountability will give you deep trust with those whom you love.
3. Set up Safeguards:
For people who don’t understand addiction, you cannot just stop. You need not only accountability but you need safeguards in-place to keep you from falling again. There are several great programs you there one can use. I personally use, XXX Church’s X3 Watch. I have it on my phone and on my computer. This is a powerful safeguard. There are two options to this program, free and paid.
With the free program, you can have only monitoring set up with two accountability partners. What’s great about this program, any website you visit that’s questionable, your accountability partner receives an email telling them what websites you’ve visited that week. They then are asked to check in with you and see how you’re doing.
I have my wife and my pastor friend as my two email contacts. This program is great because it works. I’ve had questions from both asking what the websites were, and I’ve had to be honest.
The paid version allows you to set up website blockers and you can choose as many accountability partners to be emailed. Their paid version is similar to Convenient Eyes.
4. Live free!
This is the hardest. But there is victory. We have to be vigilant, because our leadership depends on living a lifestyle of integrity. Pornography is a trap the enemy loves to use. Why, because sex sells. I believe it will get even harder for pastors to live free from this addiction.
There are nearly 2/3 of the internets websites that are pornographic in nature. We as a church are losing this battle, but I believe we can regain moral ground by helping marriages and men and women live free from this. I want to see strong marriages. For that to happen, it’s time for a serious talk as husband and wife.
Our Leadership depends on living a lifestyle of Integrity!
My wife and I have decided that as our home begins to be filled with children, the family computer, phones and tablets will be only used in a public spot. The average age a young boy is exposed to pornography is at the age 11. Most are exposed earlier. This is why we must combat and why we must live with integrity.
If you are suffering from a pornography addiction, there is help. God wants you to be free.
- My encouragement is to talk to someone you trust. Talk to your pastor or a close pastor friend. Let them guide you.
Second, find help at XXXChurch.com. This is a powerful ministry helping people be free from porn.
Third, set safe guards in your home, place the computer in a visible spot. Set up monitoring software in your phone and computer.
And finally Get into the Word of God. This is the best way to combat. Fill your mind with things of the Lord, and watch your life become free.
Resources in today’s Episode:
There’s a simple test you can take to find out if you are addicted. Sexual Addiction Test
Let’s talk about it:
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